Pick-up artists aren’t just skeevy anymore, they’re actively dangerous.

(Source: yourkickstartersucks)

shukamu:

fandomsandfeminism:

ijustwanttocommentonotherblogs:

Tumblr seems to be saying this in some of the blog posts I read:

If men are polite to us, like pulling out a woman’s chair before she sits down, he’s being a misogynist because he’s directly supporting the…

More in the “Cosplay is Not Consent” discussion. I started putting this stuff together when I started thinking about slutwalks and their attempt to offer a more victim-friendly (that’s not really the right word… hmm….) take on street harassment. These women are asserting their basic rights to dress how they want in their daily lives, and so much like the point at the end of the article these women (and men!) deserve to be treated with respect on the street regardless of what they’re wearing.

But it’s worse at conventions. Why? Because conventions are perceived to be a safe space. I remember seeing Lauren Orsini Bowers interview a guy who went to cons cross-dressed because he liked it and felt like he fit in. Our 2012 survey indicated that most con goers feel more at home at conventions than the real world.

What the OP was arguing is that “conventions are NOT a safe space, cosplayers, deal with it, because we’re awkward.” THIS. SUCKS. Why not make those conventions into a safer space for everyone? ISN’T THAT WHAT WE WANT?

imitatingparrots:

I commented on this guy’s post. Posting it here because it will likely get moderated.

——-

So. There are definitely some points in this post that I agree with. I’ll list them off here, first off:

- I agree that this should have been talked about sooner. In general, sexuality and sexual display in the anime fandom community is a sleeper issue, and as cons expand their audience outwards from the dedicated core, and into ‘normal’ people, where the boundaries lie becomes important.

- I agree that, depending on the wording, this argument can be construed as reading all men = creepers, so let them know you don’t wanna be creeped on. That said, I have some objections to this, which I’ll talk about below.

- I agree that there needs to be a greater involvement of con staff in this discussion. Ultimately it’s within their interests to create a space where everyone feels comfortable, and though cons are a fan-driven environment, con staff is in place for a reason.

Unfortunately, the bulk of your post is problematic for one reason: you are pushing the RESPONSIBILITY of other’s actions onto the cosplayer. No matter what that cosplayer’s gender is, it is NOT their responsibility to control other’s behavior for their own safety. It’s the individuals’ responsibility, and that’s what this movement is about.

Let’s bring out some specific examples from your post to illustrate this point.

“…and if you’re a girl… this [objectifying treatment] is what you HAVE to expect, because by default, it’s gonna happen.”

What’s left unsaid here is that “it’s gonna happen”… and therefore the cosplayer should DEAL with it accordingly. No. No they shouldn’t, because it is not. their. responsibility. The problem is that “it’s gonna happen” – but it doesn’t. These are individuals who, in ANY OTHER SITUATION, would not behave this way. It’s not “gonna happen”, these people make a choice to behave in a certain way. And it’s inappropriate. If it’s inappropriate in the middle of the streets, it’s inappropriate in the middle of the con.

” a lot of these otaku are loners, or isolated, or stigmatized by a larger portion of society. This is the same growing period that many of us writing/talking about this issue seem to forget that we went through. Not everyone can articulate social settings as well as those who don’t have to try.”

Okay, sure, let’s say that they are still acclimatizing. Honestly, I can forgive that, and I understand that. A first time at a convention for so many youth is a space where they’re finally safe and free to act out their passions in a way that won’t be ridiculed. As someone who was embraced by that community myself, I do not deny that there is a bit of a learning curve to otaku culture.

What I don’t like is that, once again, this transfers ownership of a person’s actions to the cosplayer, and away from the individual. What does otaku social isolation have to do with any of this?While I do understand the release of being able to act out one’s interests in a safe space, again, it is not the cosplayer’s responsibility to police others. Regardless of how inexperienced they are. There’s a fine line between social awkwardness and newness and socially unacceptable behavior.

“As much as cosplayers love to flaunt their freedom, and overall ability to be awesome, let’s not forget cosplay is a choice. However, when a really famous, and possibly attractive, cosplayer wears a costume that’s meant to draw a reaction, they know what they’re getting into, or they should. ”

This was THE line that made me decide to comment. Let me replace a couple of words for you, and then we’ll see how this sentence sounds:

“However, when a really famous, and possibly attractive, woman wears a dress that’s meant to draw a reaction, they know what they’re getting into, or they should. ”

This is exactly. EXACTLY. what people mean when they talk about “rape culture”. Now that I’ve fixed the sentence for you, let’s talk about how this is a rape-y thing to say:

- “possibly attractive” – her physical appearance has NOTHING to do with the Cosplay != Consent argument. Just as being attractive is not a viable reason to RAPE someone, being attractive is NOT a viable reason to be a fucking creep.

- “wears a costume meant to draw a reaction” – I don’t fucking care if she’s wearing nothing but paws over her ample (and apparently attractive) bosom. I don’t. care. NO outfit is “meant to draw a reaction”. And even if she might be looking for attention – for example, a girl going to a club who wants to get laid, for example – the attentions she accepts are up to HER, and you’d better believe that taking a secreted picture of her tits is not the kind of attentions she wants to accept. In fact, any SANE person in any NORMAL situation WOULD know this. So why do it to begin with? Because “con culture” lets you?

” they know what they’re getting into, or they should.”

This is the age-old rape culture argument, and it’s so sad that once again it’s cropped up. What she SHOULD be getting into is a place where it’s SAFE to act out her interests in video games and comics and anime and manga. She SHOULD be as safe as those lonely, socially isolated otaku boys you mentioned earlier in this post. Just as it’s a safe place for THEM to find social acceptance for their interests, it should be safe place for HER. Her interests just happen to involve cosplay.

This is an insulting argument, every time I hear it. “what she’s getting into” implies that every man who sets foot in a con can’t HELP but want to grab her ass. To take inappropriate pictures without asking. To cat call her. Are otaku men really that out-of-control? As a person? Do otaku men WANT people to think of them as some sort of out of control deviant who can’t help but verge on being a rapist? No? Then don’t act like a fucking creep at cons. It’s simple as that. It is not removing ANY aspect of “con culture” that people, men OR women, would not be better off without anyways.

Yes, cosplay is a choice, but cosplayers DO NOT choose how others react to them. And therefore should NOT have to bear the responsibility of their actions.

“get pissed because you feel objectified because you’re being photographed wearing a perfect (or custom) version of some teenage boy’s cartoon fantasy, you don’t get to complain. Not once”

No, you do. I’m sorry, you do. Just like cosplay is a choice, so are the kinds of attentions a person is willing or unwilling to accept. EVERYONE has the right to decide what does and doesn’t make them feel comfortable. Everyone. I don’t. care. what. she’s. wearing. I don’t care how she’s posing. I don’t care if she’s at a con and “that kind of stuff is okay at a con”. I don’t care if you’re a socially isolated awkward first-time-at-a-con otaku. I don’t care if your’e one of the good guys on staff fighting the good fight for everyone. I don’t care if you’re a professional photographer. Why? Because a person’s boundaries are THEIR OWN. No one else’s. And THEY decide what flies and what doesn’t. If something makes you uncomfortable, you are ALLOWED TO SAY SO. Regardless of the situation. Regardless of your gender. No one decides that for you.

Absolutely perfect. BUUUT I have to nitpick on an additional point made in the main post.

 How many are more than happy to cry wolf, but charge right into a double-standard when it’s somehow okay to randomly glomp, stalk, or grope some hot male cosplayer they’ve never met?

SOO…. There’s actually a lot wrong with this assumption from the erasure of woman fans, to the ignorance of the awkward and transgressive experiences that dude cosplayers face at the hands of overenthusiastic YAOI fangirls. But I mostly want to ALSO point out that we’re not interested in enforcing a double standard, the cultural narratives surrounding sexuality that we’re fighting against mean that we do actively consider the creepy treatment lavished on attractive men as part of this equation. FURTHERMORE, we’re willing to listen when a guy says he’s getting attention he doesn’t want instead of saying, “Whatever dude, you know you like it.”

True, the slogan maybe lacks some nuance, but if you talk to the people interested in changing con culture you’ll learn that what we want is a safer con environment for everyone. If we can use some positive social pressure to you know, ask before taking photos, and respect people’s boundaries, that seems to be a pretty unassailable good.

(Once again, trigger warnings.) I guess THREE POSTS MAKE A SERIES, eh? One last post on this subject, then I’ll cool it for a little while and talk more about… Read The Rest ’

Not that I feel that is cishet white dudes need any more pats on the back, but this article covers some of why I feel committed to this cause.